Monday, August 31, 2009

The Future.

To sum it up? I'm utterly terrified of it.

I don't have the slightest inkling of an idea what it holds, and it recently hit me that, up until this point, I really haven't given it much thought.

Sure, you can  pretend to have the rest of your life planned out, but do you honestly? And even if you think you know what you are going to do for the rest of your life, do you truly think you're even remotely qualified to make that decision? I don't.

I often feel inadequate to make even the most trivial of choices, so obviously, I don't feel capable of deciding my future...and I'll probably continue to feel that way until I'm literally finished with college and already well into my career. But until that time, I'll remain terrified and clinging.

Clinging to the only lifeline I have, the only One who is qualified to decide my future...and already has.
See? I can be all deep and philisophical, but don't expect any profound masterpieces from me. My scholarly insight comes in very short bursts.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Maternal Mottos.

To be honest, the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life is, in fact, the first woman I ever met in my life. My mother has gone above and beyond to take care of me for almost 18 years. This is truly an accomplishment because, for those of you who haven't met me, I'm not always the easiest person to get along with.

However, while putting up with me is a tremendous feat, the best characteristic about my mom is her ability to be hilarious in almost any situation. For example:

If I'm stressed about something at school...

"Which teacher is it? Do I need to go cut someone?"

If anyone is feeling internally ill in any way...

"You probably need to go to the bathroom. Just go sit on the pot. It'll make you feel better."

If me or one of my brothers start to get on her nerves...

"Ok, seriously? I'm gonna stab you if you don't shutup."

...and my personal favorite...

"If you give me a Wet Willie, I'll break your fingers off and shove them up your butt."

She's only used that line once, but it was quite possibly the funniest thing I'd ever heard directed towards one of my siblings. EVER.

But in the end, no matter how heated she can get, I always know she loves me. And isn't that what every parent strives for? So as you can see, she's the epitome of a good mom: supporting, kind, nurturing...

...and slightly abrasive.

Editor's Note: To meet the woman behind this post and read from her perspective, visit her blog, "Mister, You're Grounded...Until You Die."

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Undoubtedly, one of the most essential items I possess is my cell phone. It's like a mobile lifeline that connects me to pretty much anyone anywhere at anytime. But my phone is not your ordinary cellular device. No, after much deliberation, I have decided the hardware for this phone was originally designed by the U.S. Military as an indestructable telecommunications device and was mistakenly placed on an LG assembly line. Let me explain...

Over the course of the summer, I visited the community pool several times. Apparently, it's the only pool with in a five thousand mile radius because by 10am there is always an uncontrollable mob of parentless children. So, to avoid the crowd, I typically try to limit my visits to the early hours of the morning.

For those of you who don't know me, I am NOT a morning person. The first hour of my day consists of moaning, drooling, tripping over things, and walking into walls. It's hard enough being 6 feet tall and not tripping over anything, but in the morning...absolutely impossible.

However, I managed to wake up and get to the pool early that day, and thankfully, there was no one there. The first few minutes of my swim were a bit groggy, but the chilly water eventually woke me up and brought me to cell phone was still in my pocket.

If there was ever a proper occasion for me to use the term "OMG", that was definitely it.

Upon realizing this terrifying fact I proceeded in literally leaping out of the pool, yanking it out of my shorts, and drying it off. Once I finished my frantic attempt to revive my phone, I pressed the power button...

...and to my absolute shock it worked.

Still to this day, it works. Keep in mind this phone was submersed in several feet of water for more than two minutes. Also keep in mind that this phone is made of cheap Japanese plastic. ALSO keep in mind that this same phone has fallen out of a moving vehicle into someone's yard only to be hit by a lawnmower...

But that? Is a completely different story.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Confessions of a Craigslist Addict.

I'll admit it. I'm undeniably obsessed with Craigslist. It's like Ebay, but so very much better. Not only is the element of a third wheel eliminated (along with the 10% usage fee those thieves require), but there is also no risk of someone from an estranged country that may or may not exist demanding payment in his or her own country's currency which also may or may not exist.

Honestly, up until yesterday, I believed that Craigslist truly hadn't even the slightest flaw. Then, I was introduced to the S-word in all of its four-letter glory. Indeed. I am referring to the plague which now haunts my inbox. Spam.

Oddly enough, every new e-mail reads basically the same thing:

"[Insert greeting]!!!!!!!!!! Did you know that my [Insert name of distant relative at least once removed] is making [Insert amount containing at least six digits] per month??????

You should go to [Insert obscure URL with the sole purpose of sending viruses to the computers of all who visit it] right now so you can make [Re-Insert extremely large number] too!!!!!!"

And yet I read each and every one in hopes of actually contacting a real person. Sigh.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Intro to Me.

Unfortunately...I have succumbed to the peer pressure of my technologically dependent friends and have created a blog at last. This being my first entry, I suppose some introduction is in order.

First off, I'm relatively young. But don't let that fool you, I'm highly opinionated and know how to express my thoughts eloquently. This expression usually involves large amounts of sarcasm, but all in good humor.

I tend to think I'm future novelist material, and most of the people who have read my work agree. However, I'll let you be the judge on that.

I'm not typically the "venting" type. I don't intend to use this blog to whine about random crap that no one really cares about in hopes of gaining sympathy.

Lastly, you may be wondering why I used the cliché phrase for the title of my blog, and really it's more simplistic then you might think. I'm about 6' 3" give or take 2", and I've heard that phrase exactly 4,589,784,909 times in my life. So, it sort of defines who I am, ya know?

So that's me, or at least all I'm writing for now. By the way, comments are embraced here. We all need to feel the love every now and then.

Editor's Note:  As of September 12, 2010, this blog's name is no longer "How's the Weather Up There?" However, the archives produced during that title's duration are still available.