Monday, November 15, 2010


Through the years, I have come across many words that are, to put it plainly, unorthodox.

I'm not referring to those four-letter bombs scrawled on bathroom walls and school desks all across America. I'm talking about the crap you accidentally made up by fusing two or more syllables together that are not otherwise joined anywhere else in the English dictionary. That, or in some cases, it's just a normal word said with a particular intonation. Regardless, I find them hilarious and often useful. The majority of them I picked up from friends and family members, but some of them I actually invented myself.

Hajabaja - (pronounced hah-jah-bah-jah) the sound which represents the incoherent ramblings of siblings, parents, teachers, and/or aliens.

Example: I barely understood a word of that lecture. The whole thing sounded like, "Hajabaja."

SHOCKING - (pronounced shah-keeng) said in an operatic voice, this term is used sarcastically in reference to anything typical or rather unsurprising.

Example: Great, I failed another quiz. SHOCKING.

Loopean - (pronounced loo-pee-un) spoken or written word which surpasses the depth and profound resonance of Shakespeare himself. The term was named for the greatest English teacher in the world, Mr. Loope.

Example: This essay is perfect, practically Loopean.

Sharon - (pronounced share-un) name given to any middle-aged woman with obviously fake, Sharon Osbourne-esque, maroon hair.

Example: Oh my, Sharon's hair is hurting my eyes.

Lolasaurus(pronounced ell-oh-ell-uh-sor-us) an exclamation, for describing something so ridiculous or hilarious that "lol" just isn't enough.

Example: Justin Bieber is getting his own movie? Lolasaurus!

Profanicize - (pronounced pro-fan-i-syze) the act of cursing, coined by the famous Dr. Jean Morgan Harper.

Example: I know I did NOT just hear you profanicize in church!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day.

I wrote this in honor of our Veterans, but especially in honor of my two grandfathers who each have served in the Armed Forces. It's fictional, but I intended it to really make people think about what this day means by presenting them with two drastically different Christmases. This day should honor both the men and women who have either put their lives on the line or lost their lives in the quest for freedom. They deserve our undying respect and gratitude. Thank God for our Veterans who have made America what it is today.

Today is December 25th.

It's a cold Christmas morning. As you raise out of bed, the pocket of heat beneath your blanket escapes and the frigid air rushes in. Quickly, you pull a sweatshirt over your pajamas and walk to your frosted window pane. Outside, you look around at the white, snow-dusted earth before your breath fogs up the glass.

After a hot shower, you go downstairs to meet your smiling family. Cheerfully, they call to you, "Merry Christmas!" You echo their greeting with a smile, hugging each of them as you walk around the room. Everyone is dressed warmly in festive, red and green clothing. Several of them are gathered around the hearth where a small fire quietly crackles.

A lone, evergreen Christmas tree stands in the corner, covered with twinkling lights, tinsel, and colored glass ornaments. Several boxes with flamboyant patterns are neatly stacked beneath the tree, each bearing a label with its recipient's name. Gradually, the family begins distributing the presents, and before long, the floor is littered with various ribbons and torn wrapping paper. Everyone exchanges thank yous, holding their gifts with excitement, and as the discarded wrappings are collected, you make your way to the kitchen.

The aroma from the charred wood in the fireplace mixes with the various food smells wafting from the oven. The sticky sweet smell of honey glazed ham, a sharp scent of cranberries, and a cloud-like scent of bread fill your nostrils and practically overload the senses. You sit down at the table, speaking softly as you await the prayer to be said. The food is blessed, and soon, the food is gone. It tasted even better than it smelled.

With a full stomach and tired eyes, you kick back on the couch. The sound of Christmas music softly plays, and as you drift off to sleep, you catch a glimpse through the window as snow gently falls.

Today is December 25th.

His freezing, mud-soaked socks have rubbed his ankles raw. With each successive step, he feels the throb of his aching legs, struggling to support his body. This is the third night he has not slept. The stars in the navy abyss above his head are his only source of light, the sun has not yet risen.

Clutching his canteen, he attempts to get any liquid he can into his body. His cracked, bleeding lips sting as he presses them to the neck of the container, and unfortunately, only few drops of water are left. Clamping his teeth, he feels the grit of dirt and sand in the water. He swallows what little he can bear, and as the brown liquid scratches down his throat, he tries to muffle his mouth as he gags and coughs.

Suddenly, his leader whispers an order for the platoon to halt. There is a long silence, and the darkness of the night seems to be closing in on him and his fellow soldiers. Although their pause is brief, it feels like hours have passed, and every second feels longer than the last.

His heart is racing, causing his throbbing legs to worsen. His arms are pulsating to the point where he can practically feel the rushes of blood forcing their way through his veins, all the way to his fingertips. The pressure inside is mounting, the building mental terror and the resulting physical pain.

At this point, he becomes frightfully aware of his existence. It's as if nothing exists beyond the boundaries of his trembling body. Every heartbeat forces its way through his being, resounding in his ears like the thud of a large, canvas drum. However, despite this eruption of emotion and feeling within him, the world around him remains inescapably silent.

Not a whisper. Not a footstep. Not a sound. Just the steady drum-like beat of his heart.

But there is something, a presence somewhere nearby. He knows. He can feel it.

And then...the silence is torn.

He suddenly sees a rapid series of muzzle flashes. Each flash is closely followed by a rippling stream of bullets tearing through everything in their path. Tearing through him. The sound of the firing weapons continues to echo in his ears as he struggles to move, but his body remains motionless. The only sign of his fading life is the heaving of his blood soaked chest. As he drifts away, he leans his head back catches one final glimpse of the night sky.

Today is December 25th. And while you're blissfully unaware of how blessed you are, someone's son lost his life protecting what you take for granted everyday.

Freedom is not free. Honor those that have served.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

If I had a title, it would be here.

Well, I really don't know what to write about, so I'm just going to whack at the keys until something coherent comes out. Enjoy.

I've been in the flighty state of blah, lately. Whenever I'm working on something or just chilling for awhile, I'll catch myself in this weird, emotionless trance. So, if I've recently stared at you for an extended amount of time, I'm sorry. These things are out of my control.

This is probably due to my general lack of sleep. My bout of insomnia began basically at the same time this semester began. I don't handle stress well. I have never handled stress well. Mom tells me I can blame genetics for that as well as several other unbecoming ailments. Anxiety attacks, depression, and a crappy digestive system, anyone want to trade?

Theoretically, my workload this semester shouldn't give me any problems, but it is. The classes aren't difficult, per se, just tedious and, in the case of my Geology course, about as exciting as a family reunion on my Dad's side. Actually, despite the hundreds of old people who remember me when I was "just a little ankle biter" (or some other cryptic term coined in the 1920s), I'd rather go to ten of those than one Geo session.

Just ten though, eleven is pushing it.

Needless to say, I procrastinate. Alot. I would much rather go play tennis, see a movie, or play some Halo than try to discern between an igneous rock and a metamorphic rock. That usually comes back to bite me in the is the case with my current assignments...which are due tomorrow...morning. In essence, this whole post is really just me delaying the inevitable.

Sigh, I've got crap to do.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Give Thanks.

November is and will always be my favorite month.

The fall semester is winding down. For us Tennesseans, those atrocious heat waves die down and eventually end. The leaves are falling, and everything changes color, even the sky is tinted differently than before. The world just seems right.

And, of course, there's Thanksgiving, the mother of all feasts. Although, the food isn't what makes it so special to me. Thanksgiving truly is, for me, what it was originally intended to be. When our forefathers established the holiday that we know and love, they were setting aside a day to reflect on the positive and simply be thankful.

Thanksgiving is a personal time for me. It's when I do a little soul searching, when I come to terms with all that God has blessed me with, and when I realize how undeserving I am to be blessed at all. This may sound depressing, but if your really consider what we're celebrating, it's one of the most uplifting thoughts that will ever cross your mind.

God has blessed me with a wonderful family. I have two parents who love me unconditionally, who have always had my back and have never abandoned me.

I have two brothers who, regardless of how much I complain about them or fight with them, share with me a bond that won't ever go away.

That's not even counting my four wonderful grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and, of course, a whole truckload of cousins. So many people I love, people I am thankful for.

Outside of kin, I've got my friends as well. This includes my classmates and church family. Some of them are fairly new, others have been with me since we were little, and still yet, there are many I won't meet until later in my life. But no matter how long I've known them, God saw fit to make them a part of my life, and for that, I am thankful.

Even further, I give thanks for the material things as well: clothes, food, a roof over my head, a car that runs, and all the other things I constantly take for granted. All blessings, all undeserved, all God.

I know, to most people, Thanksgiving just means food, the Macy's parade, and Black Friday. It's a celebration that should be enjoyable, but it's much more than that. It always has been.

So this year, try something different. Give thanks.