Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Just go with it.

I've lost the will to write recently, so I'm trying to force myself to do so. This is, more or less, just an update of the stuff going in my life. I realize 90% of the people who find their way to this page don't care, but they'll get over it. Also, to that 10% left over? You guys are some seriously awesome sauce.

It's not for lack of trying that I've been absent for quite some time now. I'm gradually pulling away from things that could be considered my "comfort zone" like my attachment to my laptop (and Facebook). I can't really say it's been fun, but it has yielded several good things.

I recently turned 19. I guess, that's sort of an accomplishment. I realize birthdays are very important to some people though, and it's not nearly as egocentric of a celebration as I make it sound. I just don't like to place emphasis on my birthday, because that implies that I'm worthy of recognition or that my birthday is a sign of the day the world got the incredible gift of David or something. An accurate birthday card for me is something that says, "Congratulations! You've managed to evade death for another year!"

During my absence, I've done some heavy thinking. I've allowed hinderances to consume me, then I've prayed like a madman until I could raise up and overcome them. And, through God, I have overcome them. It's not over, because those things will undoubtedly come back, and the cycle will have to begin again and again. Rinse and repeat. I know some people would probably criticize my methods, but it's how I've learned to deal with the crap life so willingly dishes out.

I've tried to use "Yes!" and even a few reluctant answers like "Sure!" more than my preferred response of "Heck no!" lately. Not because I want to book my entire life out to my friends and family and the community and the rest of the world, but I really want to experience something. I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. Yes, it's very cliche. But I mean it.

God's got my life in His hands, my future determined, and my heart where He is. I realize that. I realize that God alone should be that grand adventure to fill the void in me, to fulfill my purpose, but I've never been a patient person. I want something awesome and incredible to happen now, so I've allowed every opportunity that doesn't compromise my stance as a Christian to fully present itself. Go-with-the-flow, ride-the-wave, and all that jazz. Waiting on people is hard, waiting on God is practically impossible, but I'm looking forward through every new door with anticipation.