Sunday, August 30, 2009

Maternal Mottos.

To be honest, the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life is, in fact, the first woman I ever met in my life. My mother has gone above and beyond to take care of me for almost 18 years. This is truly an accomplishment because, for those of you who haven't met me, I'm not always the easiest person to get along with.

However, while putting up with me is a tremendous feat, the best characteristic about my mom is her ability to be hilarious in almost any situation. For example:

If I'm stressed about something at school...

"Which teacher is it? Do I need to go cut someone?"

If anyone is feeling internally ill in any way...

"You probably need to go to the bathroom. Just go sit on the pot. It'll make you feel better."

If me or one of my brothers start to get on her nerves...

"Ok, seriously? I'm gonna stab you if you don't shutup."

...and my personal favorite...

"If you give me a Wet Willie, I'll break your fingers off and shove them up your butt."

She's only used that line once, but it was quite possibly the funniest thing I'd ever heard directed towards one of my siblings. EVER.

But in the end, no matter how heated she can get, I always know she loves me. And isn't that what every parent strives for? So as you can see, she's the epitome of a good mom: supporting, kind, nurturing...

...and slightly abrasive.

Editor's Note: To meet the woman behind this post and read from her perspective, visit her blog, "Mister, You're Grounded...Until You Die."

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