Seeking.

Matthew 7:7

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.



That verse has never reigned truer in my life than today.

If you recall that mess of self-pity I was wallowing in earlier, I feel better now. As usual, I found the answer in the Bible. Or better yet, my Sunday School teacher found it and showed me. Regardless of how I obtained enlightment, just realize it was ultimately derived from God.

After reiterating the message about feelings not being related to beliefs, my teacher began discussing why many of us, such as myself, get somewhat out of touch with our Christianity.

Here's his lesson in a nutshell:

It's not that we don't remember the reason we believed, but it's that we forget what we were like before we believed. We don't recall the change that occurred inside of us because it's been so long, or maybe we were at such a young age that there wasn't enough junk in our life to really change. Obviously, if an adult with a cocaine addiction and a five-year-old both get saved at the same time, they're going to have drastically different experiences.

The five-year-old will feel good, probably proud of himself, for the decision he made, but the druggie is going to feel an enormous burden off his shoulders or maybe even a new sense of strength to conquer his problems. This is essentially why we can't base our beliefs on what we feel. Because we're all in different places in our lives. No one emotion can define that critical experience within every person.

So, even when we feel utterly alone, like all that we've ever believed in has abandoned us, rest assured that God is still there and still very real.

You just have to seek Him.

Thoughts.

Expressing my feelings through writing is not always the best way to deal with them, but sometimes it's the only way. This is one of those times.

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel really down? Like even if you had a friend right there with you, it wouldn't matter? Because you feel that crappy?

I hate those days. And unfortunately, I've been having alot of them lately.

When you become a Christian, you get that overwhelming feeling of joy knowing you'll never truly be alone again. I miss that. It's almost sickening to not have that feeling. I know it's probably wrong, but I've let that lonliness cause doubts. Doubts that run so deep, become so rooted that I actually, for a moment, have lost my grasp of the entire concept of hope.

I'm not intentionally being depressing, and I'm really not normally this way. Promise.

For years, preachers and teachers and friends and family have all drilled into me that feeling isn't believing. Although, sometimes I wish it were. There's a fine line between emotion and actual, mental acceptance of a truth, but beyond that, believing in God requires a spiritual acceptance of the truth as well. How can one even begin to gain legitimate control over the spirit?

There's no right or wrong answer here. Seriously, your best guess is as good as mine.

Whenever I consider the cosmic "grand scheme of things", I get stressed out. That's what I blame for all these random mood swings. Anyways, I'm done pouring out all my thoughts. I'm going to bed.

Boundaries.

I've found there is a limit to everything under the sun. That old saying "too much of a good thing, is a bad thing" is dead on.

In example, having someone's back is a good thing...in moderation. Stalking someone, bugging their phones, and suggesting the numbers of local practitioners that "may have what you need" is clearly NOT a good thing.

Despite any inane reasoning or justification you may have built up in your mind, the person you are "looking out for" won't be appreciative when they notice you across the street with binoculars. In fact, they'll probably call the police and/or bust a cap in you. No joke.

I say these mildly disturbing things because I have experienced this rare type of lunacy first hand. Maybe not to this extent, but I digress.

Heed my warning: keep yourself in check, and let your friends do the same.

Granted, if you see your friend purchase what appears to be a bag of snow from a hooded figure in a dark alley, feel free to hide in a bush and find out what's up. But besides that very unlikely situation, there's no reason to drive your large white van around your friend's neighborhood wearing infared goggles.

Because he or she WILL have you arrested or killed.

Radio.

So, I recently discovered the horror that is the Kings of Leon.

After all of the raving reviews I'd heard, I honestly expected something...well...good. But alas, the Kings of Leon are your typical, long haired, makeup wearing guys who sing mediocre songs with somewhat questionable content.

It's sad, but that pretty much described 85% of bands on the radio today.

Greasy bangs aside, one of their songs did happen to provide comic relief in the midst of one of my parents' shopping excursions...

*While walking through a store, the song "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon comes on over the radio.*

Random man: "Did I hear that right?"

*Song continues.*

Random man: "I DID hear that right. *sigh* I'm fairly certain if your sex is on fire then you probably have an STD."

*Uncontrollable laughter ensues.*

People are hilarious.

Vacation.

At long last, the glorious season of Summer has returned to me, and believe me, I gave it a sweaty, sunburned hug to welcome it back.

Two days ago, I got back from the much anticipated trip to Disney World I was raving about. Fortunately, it lived up to my expectations, even exceeded them at times. The majority of the trip was smooth sailing. Everyone was agreeable, the rides had short lines, and life was grand. Granted, there were a few setbacks...

The sun raged in the sky everyday like an enormous, extremely shiny tyrant, but honestly, what do you expect from Florida? Needless to say, the heat made tempers flare, and at times, I was certain that I would witness the first murder to ever take place at the Walt Disney Resort. Despite the onslaught of complaining and exaggerated physical agony, we managed to keep it together.

Looking back, all of us made it back alive, and some of us are still friends. So, we'll call it a success.

Below are a collaboration of our group's favorite memories from the trip. Naturally, we didn't all agree on them, but I managed to get a general idea of the top attractions.

Favorite Rides

1) Expedition Everest (Animal Kingdom)

2) Rockin' Rollercoaster (Hollywood Studios)

3) The Twilight Zone: Tower of Terror (Hollywood Studios)

Honorable Mentions

- Space Mountain (Magic Kingdom)

- Test Track (Epcot)

Favorite Shows

1) Mickey's Philharmagic (Magic Kingdom)

2) Beauty and the Beast (Hollywood Studios)

3) Indiana Jones (Hollywood Studios)

Honorable Mentions

- Finding Nemo: The Musical (Animal Kingdom)

- Muppet Vision 3D (Hollywood Studios)

Favorite Restaurants

1) Wolfgang Puck's (Downtown Disney)

2) Sunshine Seasons (Epcot)

3) Flame Tree Barbeque (Animal Kingdom)

Honorable Mentions

- Lotus Blossom Cafe (Epcot)

- Pizza Planet (Hollywood Studios)

Least Favorites

Ride - it's a small world (Magic Kingdom)

Show - The Voyage of the Little Mermaid (Hollywood Studios)

Restaurant - Columbia Harbour House (Magic Kingdom)

Parks (Best to Worst)

1) Hollywood Studios

2) Magic Kingdom

3) Animal Kingdom

4) Epcot