Sunday, May 16, 2010

Change.

Regardless of how much effort I put into maintaining this blog, this month seems to prevent me from doing so. I've managed to pry a few precious moments from the taloned clutches of May, however, so I'll use those to the best of my ability.

Today marks the final week of my days as a high schooler. Graduation is, all at once, hitting me. Hitting me like a very, very forceful slap across my naive face. Suddenly, I'm realizing that it's not just another bland award ceremony. It's not just another unrealistically embellished school event.

It's the commencement of another phase of my life.

Upon discovering the seriousness of this day, I am, once again, questioning my readiness. I don't feel any different than I did last year, and I doubt moving a silky tassle from one side of my head to the other will change that. Being a senior hasn't granted me some philisophical epiphany into my future, nor has it granted me any vast knowledge or maturity. It was just another year.

This week is no different. It's simply another seven days that happen to fall at the end of my final semester of high school.

But something is different.

Something has changed, and is changing, inside me. Almost as if God is showing me who I am, and who He wants me to be outside the walls of that high school.

For the past few months, doors have opened left and right. Too many doors, in my opinion. I'm being forced to make monumental decisions in moments when I feel like I need years. I'm planning out each day as if it were worlds more important than the last. I'm having to put more faith in God than I have ever felt compelled to.

Things are different, things are changing, and I only hope I can keep up.

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