Return.

I need to make a title edit: TRIUMPHANT RETURN.

There. It's slightly more commanding now...and easier for old people to read.

Well, despite my long absence from this crap I call a blog, I have indeed returned. Initially, writer's block was what deterred me from the computer. That's what happens when you run out of non-interesting things about your life to completely overexaggerate and make hilarious.

But honestly, that lasted for all of a week. After that, I came down with a massive case of lazy. That, coupled with my inability to pull myself away from the TV, are what constitute for that blogless, 3 month gap you see to your right.

Winter will do that to you. It makes you stay indoors and not travel more than a mile away from your house. Then, it awakens the sleeping addiction to electronics and Papa John's that every human secretly has.

But I've gone, I've gained new experiences, and I plan to share them...

...because that's how I roll.

*To enhance your experience in reading this blog, feel free to play this optional background music.