Thursday, February 25, 2010

Slalom: Part Two.

Sequel time. Where was I?

Oh yes, slopes...

So, my friend and I mastered the bunny slope, and determined that we were skilled enough to take on the next level: the blue circle. DUN DUN DUNN.

Actually, the map made the slopes bearing that shape out to be gently rolling snowbanks with wide open clearings. Great for beginners! The map...was a crap-dirty liar.

So, yeah. Let the DUN DUN DUNNing commence.

Nevertheless, we tumbled onto the ski-lift and began our ascent. Our LONG ascent. We were on that thing for the majority of the day. Seriously. That's how they make their money at these places, they give you a four-hour pass and lift takes three and a half hours to reach the top.

Better rush to the bottom to renew your pass! Actually, for me, the most reckless skiier on the planet, this wasn't much of a problem. Ultimately, we reached the top where it was probably a good fifteen degrees cooler.

But what my friend and I had failed to realize up until this point is that the reason it was a day's journey to reach the summit is because we were on the wrong slope. Indeed, the sign at the edge of the bore a navy square. This is yet another time in my life when the acronym "OMG" was truly appropriate.

I hated that sign. I wanted to burn it really, but it was too cold to light a match. So, I just glared at it and thought nasty thoughts.

Honestly though, we were at the top, and we had to get down somehow. So, we did what we had to and we learned. I learned that your skis should never go above your head. That, my friends, is a no no.

Yes, I know, "Lindsey Vohn does it!" Okay, I get it. Just shutup.

Olympians are just insane or drug induced or both, but somehow I respect them for that. Let them do their own thing. Those commercials and signs that say, "Don't try this at home" are there for a reason. They're actually not as accurate as they should be. They should really say, "You'll die." or  "Eminent doom." Either of those, I'm sure, would be more effective.

Anyways, we both survived with no major injuries. And really, praise the Lord for that.

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