Alive.

I know it's cliché to reflect on some "invisible weight lifted off my shoulders" or whatnot, but that's a pretty accurate description of how I've been feeling lately.

I feel different, different in a good way. God's hand on my life is so guiding and so unmistakably present.  It gives me chills just considering the awesomeness of our Creator and the fact that He would work in my life.  

Simple, unimportant, worthless David Johnson has a purpose in God's master plan. Incredible.

It's such a noticeable difference that my thought process itself has changed. I really don't stress out anymore.  Granted, I still freak out over really stupid stuff every now and again; we all have our moments, but lately, before I even have a chance to panic, a peace floods over me like a cold, awakening water.

There's a definitive moment where I give my worry to God now. I strive to put my heart and soul into everything that I do, praying that it would be for His glory, but once I've given it my all, I'm done and I let it go. No buried doubts or regret, just a resounding satisfaction with myself and a renewed thankfulness for the opportunity to do something, to do anything at all.

Yes, thankfulness. Have you ever taken a few moments to dwell on how thankful we are and how much more thankful we should be? 

Consider your life: break it down into every movement of your body, every blink of your eyes, every inhale, every exhale, the slight contraction and expansion of your nostrils as you breathe, the slight involuntary tremble of your fingers. Now, break it down even further: the thousands of tiny fibers in your muscles that tear and repair themselves on a daily basis, the network of veins behind your eyeball that allow just the right amount of blood and fluid to maintain your vision, the beat of your heart. God created all of these, every bit of it. How can we not be thankful?

I'm reveling in the smallest of things lately, cherishing mere moments more than I used to cherish entire days.  There are trillions of truly amazing things to thank God for, to praise Him for, the simplest of things that we may go our entire lives without dedicating a millisecond of thought to. 

The thickness of the air after a rain, the rhythmic whirring sound of a ceiling fan, the bite of ice against bare skin, the gritty smell of a pile of fallen leaves – all these things exist as they are simply because God designed them that way. And I can't help but be utterly and unreservedly thankful, awe-inspired and thankful.

I don't claim to understand God, but I like to think He enjoyed creating us. Because why else would He have made everything so wonderful, even the things we deem "bad" like tornadoes or wasps are incredible things and, in my opinion, beautiful things.  God's creation is of an unmatched beauty and intricacy, the right to merely behold it is a reason to be thankful.

I don't know how I missed it, but hopefully, I will never again forget...

Life is such a gift.