It seems bad, but I tend to assume the worst in people. My trust is something that's very, very difficult to earn, and very, very easy to lose. I can count the number of people who've earned it on one hand.
But every now and then, I let my guard down. I allow the world to coax me out of my shell of mistrust. This is rare, and it only happens when things are going well for me, abnormally well. This state never lasts long though. Reality eventually swoops in, pecking at that temporary bubble of bliss until it pops, allowing all the crap of daily life to come pouring in. This surge wakes me up, reminds me that this place is not my home.
I'm in this world, but I'm not of it. I have my sights set on a better place and my heart set on a higher purpose.
Thank God, I have more than just this life. I have a reason to live.