Slalom: Part One.

Skiing was the most fun I've had in a very long time. It was rough at first, but I have no doubt that I could be headed to the next winter Olympics...

...to watch from the crowd.

Honestly though, it was an amazing experience. One that I won't soon forget.

Flying down the mountain uncontrollably is, for the most part, how I skiied. I gradually gained control, but you see, I had to teach myself. This was my first time skiing, and per Tennessee state law, first-timers must go through training. So, my friend and I, falling repetitively, manage to make it over to the training area in an attempt to learn.

Unfortunately, the lesson had already started, but we just figured we'd learn along the way. No sweat, right? Wrong.

The first thing we found out is that the man who was teaching the course was also the man who created the sport back in the dark ages. He was ancient. Seriously, we were prepared for him to die, right there, on his skis. But hey, no worries. He obviously has experience.

Too bad he wouldn't share that experience with anyone other than himself.

His "teaching" was basically a ceaseless barrage of mutterings under his breath and random spastic movements which were apparently the techniques we were supposed to learn. I suppose if you were standing within 4 feet of him in a completely silent room and he had a bull horn, MAYBE you would be able to hear him. But I couldn't promise that you would learn anything at all other than how to convulse and have leg spasms.

Needless to say, we left Methuselah to his ramblings, and decided to learn on our own. It was a corporate decision, one with which I was ultimately pleased, but the road was definitely rough...and cold.

The bunny slope was our starting point. If we could make it down that without falling and/or hitting someone, we could make it down anything. The first time was difficult, and over the span of twenty feet, we had to have fallen at least ten times. Second time, still shaky, but only one or two falls. Third time's the charm, and we both successfully navigated the semi-slope. The Hallelujah Chorus resounded, and Etta James appeared to sing a rendition of "At Last" specifically for us. Well, that's how it played out in my head.

Anyways, on to the slopes...