Per the inspiration of my friend and a local radio station, I have comprised a chart for those who want to know what class they fit in based on how hard they party.
(Until recently, I honestly didn't realize anyone cared, but upon further review...it's freaking hilarious.)
Ok, so here it is...
PARTY INTENSITY CHART FOR BEASTS AND THEIR BRETHREN.
10 P.M. or earlier : Party Hater.
Description: People who have to go to bed early because they have "school in the morning" or some crap.
In this class: small children, old men, and cats.
11 P.M. : Party Animal.
Description: That cliche status to which represents a mild, controlled stage of partying.
In this class: unimportant teenagers and rebellious pre-teens.
12 A.M. : Party Monster.
Description: People who party so hard...they can't quit until the next day.
In this class: Xbox Live addicts and the kid who has to post a Facebook status EXACTLY at midnight.
1 A.M. : Party Addict.
Description: Those party goers who, in honor of MJ, "don't stop til they get enough" or in some cases, get too much...
In this class: barhops, drifters, and Billy Mays.
2 A.M. : Party Psycho.
Description: Those who's excessive partying has begun to affect their mental stability. Be forewarned...MADD knows who you are.
In this class: All 32 beautiful ladies and the ugly one at the Mouse's Ear (and their dates).
3 A.M. : Party Legend.
Description: Originally thought to be a myth, these party goers have recently been confirmed through a series of video footage and eye-witness sightings.
In this class: No names have been confirmed at this time.
4 A.M. or later: Stupid.
Description: If the name didn't give it away, you're probably in this class. Seriously guys, your enthusiasm is great and all, but we responsible people are waking up in two hours or quite possibly less than that. Put the drink down, and go home.
In this class: 12 year-olds at church camps who are away from their parents for the first time in their lives, frat boys, and insomniacs.