Monday.

Does that word not make you cringe? I honestly can't remember a Monday that I've ever whole-heartedly enjoyed. Ever.

I believe from now on, calendars should only have 6 days per week. No exceptions. If no one acknowledges Monday, it will surely go away.

The fact that I'm beginning a 5-day sequence of school bites hard, as does the list of weekly chores that renew their status of incomplete. But the thing that angers me the most...

...Monday is a murderer.

It kills the weekend in cold blood. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dead. What did the weekend ever do to anyone? Really?

This hearteless slaughter of innocent days has to stop, so I'm issuing a call to action...

Think of the horrible Monday night programming (particularly shows involving Jay Leno) that would go away.


Think of the helpless weekends.


Think of the children.


Abolish evil. Abolish Monday.


I'm Dr. Jones, and I approve of this message.