Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Cherry Tree.

Truth is strangely elusive nowadays. Relationships, business endeavors, even nations used to be founded upon truth, not sugar-coated or "stretched" facts, straight up truth. I've recently become aware that it would be foolish and naive to think this will ever be that way again.

Over the past month, I've harbored quite a bit of anger towards a former friend and coworker of mine. In the prime of our friendship, we laughed and cut up more than anyone, had each other's backs when no one else would, and covered for each other even when we probably shouldn't have. It was a relationship built on what I assumed was legitimate trust, which probably explains why it was so strong.

Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough to withstand one. single. lie.

A solitary, undeniable lie literally unraveled our entire friendship built on shared feelings and kept secrets. It was a pain that I really didn't expect and, to be honest (no pun intended), I wasn't ready for it. Looking into the eyes of a friend, someone you care about and love...absolutely knowing that that individual is fully aware of the God-honest truth, and then watching them renounce your name in a lie...that's a life changer.

That moment has done more than my former friend will ever know. Not only was my heart heavy and confused from the betrayal, but that single lie has spilled over into other relationships. It's placed a drop of doubt in a bucket that used to be filled with so much trust and caring for friends and family. It's caused me to second-guess myself and my ability to judge character and people in general. It's poisoned me.

I've become aware to the pain of innocence being stripped from my character. I've become aware of the true depth of the darkness and bitterness and resentment and deception that can reside in a person, even a person you considered a friend.

I should grow up, right? Get thicker skin? Shrug it off? I don't think so. I think this is what we all go through whether we admit it or not. I think we bury and deny the pain we feel because of how dangerous it would be to come to grips with it.

Because deep down, we know, all too well, of the incredible power of a lie.

Then again, maybe I've watched Pinocchio too many times and keep hoping my coworker will walk through the door with an enormous nose housing a family of birds in their nest. C'est la vie.