Saturday, April 14, 2012

Don't go changin'.

People come into our lives rather suddenly. Unfortunately, they often leave in the same manner.

We'd all like to sweep those failed relationships under the blanket excuse of "change" in one or both people, but let's be real for a minute. Change is inevitable in EVERYONE. No one is exempt from growing up, being affected by people and experiences and just plain life in general.

This shouldn't come as any big surprise to anyone. What should come as a big surprise, or at least comes as a big surprise to me, is how drastic that change can be. People you knew, people you loved can become people you are ashamed to even be associated with. Friends can become enemies, enemies can become friends. Years of trust can be reduced to a pile of hollow regrets in mere seconds. None of this should happen, but it does.

I believe we all have a definitive identity, a part of us that never changes. But all the stuff around it, the person worn by the identity, that changes.

We alter the person on the outside to fit situations and molds established by society. We masquerade as people  who we aren't, who we never will be. Jealousy, pride, a desire to fit in – regardless of the reasoning, we're all guilty of it in some way or another. But it's not life-altering unless you let it be.

People learn. People grow. People make choices. And ultimately, every choice falls into one of two categories: denial or acceptance. Every choice we make, we either deny who we are or we accept it.

It's a complicated way to say "be yourself," but complicated is how I roll.

Monday, April 9, 2012


I know it's cliché to reflect on some "invisible weight lifted off my shoulders" or whatnot, but that's a pretty accurate description of how I've been feeling lately.

I feel different, different in a good way. God's hand on my life is so guiding and so unmistakably present.  It gives me chills just considering the awesomeness of our Creator and the fact that He would work in my life.  

Simple, unimportant, worthless David Johnson has a purpose in God's master plan. Incredible.

It's such a noticeable difference that my thought process itself has changed. I really don't stress out anymore.  Granted, I still freak out over really stupid stuff every now and again; we all have our moments, but lately, before I even have a chance to panic, a peace floods over me like a cold, awakening water.

There's a definitive moment where I give my worry to God now. I strive to put my heart and soul into everything that I do, praying that it would be for His glory, but once I've given it my all, I'm done and I let it go. No buried doubts or regret, just a resounding satisfaction with myself and a renewed thankfulness for the opportunity to do something, to do anything at all.

Yes, thankfulness. Have you ever taken a few moments to dwell on how thankful we are and how much more thankful we should be? 

Consider your life: break it down into every movement of your body, every blink of your eyes, every inhale, every exhale, the slight contraction and expansion of your nostrils as you breathe, the slight involuntary tremble of your fingers. Now, break it down even further: the thousands of tiny fibers in your muscles that tear and repair themselves on a daily basis, the network of veins behind your eyeball that allow just the right amount of blood and fluid to maintain your vision, the beat of your heart. God created all of these, every bit of it. How can we not be thankful?

I'm reveling in the smallest of things lately, cherishing mere moments more than I used to cherish entire days.  There are trillions of truly amazing things to thank God for, to praise Him for, the simplest of things that we may go our entire lives without dedicating a millisecond of thought to. 

The thickness of the air after a rain, the rhythmic whirring sound of a ceiling fan, the bite of ice against bare skin, the gritty smell of a pile of fallen leaves  all these things exist as they are simply because God designed them that way. And I can't help but be utterly and unreservedly thankful, awe-inspired and thankful.

I don't claim to understand God, but I like to think He enjoyed creating us. Because why else would He have made everything so wonderful, even the things we deem "bad" like tornadoes or wasps are incredible things and, in my opinion, beautiful things.  God's creation is of an unmatched beauty and intricacy, the right to merely behold it is a reason to be thankful.

I don't know how I missed it, but hopefully, I will never again forget...

Life is such a gift.