The last decision you'll ever make alone.

Back in 2011, I met a beautiful girl named Molly. What started as a conversational, coworker relationship quickly grew into a strong friendship. I found myself noticing her differently than any person I'd ever come into contact with. I noticed little details like the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, how proper and soft her voice was when she spoke, and the way her deep brown eyes lit up when she smiled.

Being the skeptic I am, I brushed these thoughts aside. Platonic attraction was a natural part of life. I had no intention of falling in love any time soon, let alone getting married. God had different plans though (as He usually does), and slowly but surely, that brown-eyed girl melted my heart. Two years later, on a windy Saturday evening along the northern shoreline of Ohio, I asked her to be my wife.

Love is a curious thing. It seems so unnatural until you understand it.

But when you finally do? It becomes the simplest, most fulfilling part of your life.
   

Afterglow.

The days seem to be getting shorter. I can practically feel the dark of the night bleeding in slowly, absorbing the sunlight until each ray has dissipated into an endless sea of navy. A cold and repetitive finale to each 24-hour period. Not only that, but the time itself seems to be moving faster. Noticeably faster.

My dad always used to warn me it would, and now, I know exactly what he meant.

Decisions are swarming in my head like angry bees, some immediate, some impending. I'm stressed beyond any measure I've ever been stressed before. Words cannot actually convey the weight on my shoulders right now, but surprisingly, I've retained that optimistic attitude I've been working on, and I'm handling it well.

To give credit where credit is due and to transition from my cold introduction into my sunny outlook, God has been carrying the majority of the burden, masking all the stuff in my life that should terrify me and force me into the fetal position with constant reminders of His love.

I am so incredibly blessed, so very thankful to be alive.

Read this. It'll do your heart some good:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."


Psalms 9:9-10

Ohana.

Time and again, I forget how blessed I am to have such wonderful family. God has given me two incredible people to nurture and raise me and two siblings to share a lifelong bond with. All too often, I take my family for granted, even neglect them. So, I'm going to brag on them a little, and you can be jealous.

First off, I'm thankful for my incredible dad. Not a father, a dad. Despite all the crap I've put him through, all the stupid things I've done, the millions of little things we've argued over, I know he's always got my back. He loves me, flaws and all. I've watched my dad fight and push his way through a great deal of stress and an even greater deal of pain, yet he always makes time to help me sort through my problems. Between the countless stories he's told me (most of them involving his less-than-civilized relatives) and just the simple, everyday moments when he acts like a good dad should, there's no teacher in any university on this earth that could teach me as much as he has. And there's no other man alive who has inspired me as much as he has.

I'm also thankful for my beautiful mom. God knew what He was doing when He gave me a mother who was both sarcastic and sensitive. Even though I know I drive her crazy, she loves me and makes time to talk to me about the specific things going on in my life. I've never felt like I didn't have someone to talk to, because all my life I've had my mom. Beyond having the same sense of humor, mom and I, both being the oldest children in our families, relate to each other on several levels. Even when she's down, she takes the time to build me up, and I couldn't have been given a better woman to raise me.

I can't leave my brothers out, because they've touched my life as well. They've befriended me each in their own ways, but I love them each the same. There's never a dull moment with my brothers, not a day goes by where we don't laugh together. They've taught me how to be a bigger brother, and while I'd like to think I've helped them grow, they'll never know how much they have helped me grow.

In my life, there are thousands of variables, people and places and events and things, all temporary, but my family has always and will always be there. A constant in this crazy world. God has blessed me so dearly, and I can't help but be thankful, thankful that I've never had to search for love, because I was born into it.
    

Peace.

Life is really good right now. I know this comes as a surprise given my recent whinings about all my drama, but recently, God's been going above and beyond to give me peace. And, beyond that, I'm genuinely happy.

Church is unbelievably encouraging. Lately, I've felt like the sermons were written for me, which I know is God's way of speaking to me, but it goes even further to remind me that I'm not alone in my struggles. He's working on and speaking to others just like me. Even my job is a reminder that God will provide. I work for a company founded on Christian morals, I have a great boss, and with a few small exceptions, I work with some awesome people from many different walks of life. My friends and family are there for me, even in the hard times. Time after time, I'm being reminded of how truly wonderful my life is, the countless blessings that I don't deserve and take for granted all too often.

Coming from an instantaneous generation, I tend to live in the now, confining my view to the things going on at this very second. That's, I guess, why I go downhill so fast when things get tough, but I'm learning. I'm learning to turn to God for everything instead of just the tough stuff. Beyond that, I'm learning that I can, in fact, trust people. I used to think that talking to people, letting anyone too close was dangerous, social and emotional suicide. I'd been burned too many times to ever think otherwise.

Now, I realize that God doesn't just put people in our lives to come and go. God puts people in our lives to affect us, in one way or another. Sometimes, it's to test our faith, and other times, it's to provide a tangible presence to help us through the hard times. Either way, they all have some sort of purpose, no accidents. Through others, God can mold us and make us stronger.

Ultimately, I feel like I'm being guided, which is quite possibly the most incredible feeling I've ever had. To know that my life is in God's hands (and, even better, not in my hands) has brought me peace. I'm looking forward to my future with excitement and wonder, rather than trepidation now, and to be honest, I want others to feel the way I do.

I'm not trying to turn my blog into a church invitation or anything, but I'm completely serious. If you get anything out of reading my words, I want you to know that you can have true peace and you can know true love through Jesus. Because, as I'm being reminded again and again, that's really all that matters.
 

We will be your love.

Sometimes, I wonder what the world would be like if there weren't sides to be chosen, no state of constant conflict among people of differing views. What if everyone, at the minimum, were in a state of neutrality with one another?

There's a misconception that maturity is equivalent to integrity, which is a total load. Yes, growth is a part of life, but this metaphorical line in the sand that everyone has to eventually step to the left or right of isn't some inevitable occurance in adulthood. It's just an excuse to mask your own selfishness.

When people or things aren't going your way, the first response shouldn't be to force them down your funnel of ideals. Compromise is important. Obviously, I'm not condoning compromising your morals and ethics, but you have to accept the fact that there will be differences of opinion from time to time.

Everyone is different. People who are compatible, are compatible, and vice versa. And just because someone isn't what you would deem friend material doesn't make them deserving of mistreatment. I'm personally not a fan of the whole "coexist" campaign (because I feel that all people need to know Christ), but I do believe in respecting one another.

This whole message is mostly directed at Christians, but just imagine what it'd be like if all people were to embrace this mindset. You don't have to always agree with everyone, you don't have to be BFF with each person you come into contact with, but for all that is good in this broken world, try to love people. Ultimately, that's what it all comes down to. Could you imagine if Jesus shunned everyone that thought differently than He did, or worse, that did things He didn't approve of?

We weren't meant to participate in a lifelong struggle to gain the upper hand over those who think differently than we do, and we weren't meant to condemn people for their actions. We're all humans, we're all flawed, so who are we to pass judgment on our own?

No, that's not what we're meant for. We're meant to obey and glorify our Creator, to lead others to Him.

We're meant to show the world His love.



Editor's Note: In case you didn't catch the reference, this post was inspired by the song, "Won't you be my love?" by MercyMe. If you choose to listen to it, I hope it blesses you as much as it has blessed me.

Alive.

Naturally, Easter is a day of celebration for Christians, like myself, to rejoice that our Lord rose from the grave. On the third day, not man, not death, not even Hell itself could restrain Him, and in a magnificent triumph, He rose.

I've always thought of Easter as just another holiday, another reason to exchange some form of gift, namely Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs, but this year was different. This year I was humbled through the sheer magnitude of Christ's love.

Putting God and His creation of everything into perspective is a feat which the human mind cannot comprehend. Especially those of us who rely so heavily on logic. However, once your mind has been expanded to it's limit and your train of thought careens madly off the rails because it cannot comprehend the thought of a solitary, infinite being creating the universe...

...there is a peaceful yet chilling silence.

A realization occurs that you're not meant to know all of these things, and a joy that you have a God who knows all of it overcomes you.

Looking around and at hundreds of people walking by. Living, breathing people who each have a unique genetic code so infindecimal that the human eye needs cutting edge technology just to behold it. Every one containing enough organs to cover every possible need that body will ever need.

Watching the clouds in the seemingly endless ocean above the world wisp by. The sun, which lights and heats the surface of the Earth, a surface so large that even if we could live a thousand years we could never see it all.

Both the smallest and the largest pieces of life, were all created by one, omnipotent God. This is fact.

These things haven't simply come to be over time. There was no explosion which thrusted matter into the order it is today. We didn't change into humans after billions of years as plants. While the ways of God are not bounded by logic, if you think about it, God is the only logical explanation.

So, I say all these extremely confusing and overwhelming things to ask the only question that I struggle with:

Why does He love me?