The last decision you'll ever make alone.

Back in 2011, I met a beautiful girl named Molly. What started as a conversational, coworker relationship quickly grew into a strong friendship. I found myself noticing her differently than any person I'd ever come into contact with. I noticed little details like the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, how proper and soft her voice was when she spoke, and the way her deep brown eyes lit up when she smiled.

Being the skeptic I am, I brushed these thoughts aside. Platonic attraction was a natural part of life. I had no intention of falling in love any time soon, let alone getting married. God had different plans though (as He usually does), and slowly but surely, that brown-eyed girl melted my heart. Two years later, on a windy Saturday evening along the northern shoreline of Ohio, I asked her to be my wife.

Love is a curious thing. It seems so unnatural until you understand it.

But when you finally do? It becomes the simplest, most fulfilling part of your life.
   

Happiness > Hurt.

I know I've been mostly focused on Disney for the last few posts, but I came across something in my devotion this morning I felt was worth sharing:

"God didn't give us life so we could suffer. He suffered to give us life. Shake off the hateful and negative people in your life. You can love and pray for them at a distance. Always choose happiness over hurt."

Those words really struck me as I've always thought the goal was to salvage relationships and hang on regardless of what people put you through. But, as I'm beginning to understand more everyday, people take advantage of that attitude. Some people don't care for your happiness, only how you can increase their happiness. Some people find gratification in your failures and live to exploit your flaws.

God didn't design us to deal with that. He didn't intend for us to allow people into our lives who emotionally drain us and leech off of our happiness. God designed friendship as a bond between people of like mind, a bond of equality, not entitlement. He didn't intend for us to utilize our friends like stepping stools to be used to rise up and then discarded. Friendship is a mutual climb, a shared quest for happiness and bettering ourselves.

Pray for the clarity to discern between happiness and hurt. Pray for the strength to separate yourself from the people in the latter category and the integrity to pray that those people will find happiness of their own.
      

Keep moving forward.

As most of you know, my family and I love Disney World and really just Disney in general.

But what most of you probably do NOT know is that, two weeks ago, I applied for the Disney College Program. To be completely honest, I didn't expect anything more than a confirmation email thanking me for my interest in the program, which did, in fact, arrive moments after I submitted my application.

Amazingly though, my application went through quickly and I received further correspondence less than an hour following the confirmation email. From there, I stuttered and stammered through two interviews and was informed that within a couple weeks they would reach a final verdict as to whether or not I would be accepted into the program. 

The momentum and excitement from the sheer thought of being accepted had me incredibly anxious, and what had originally seemed like it would be a short lapse of time became an agonizing waiting game. I scanned through various blogs (and vlogs) regarding the program, students who had waits of up to three months before hearing anything. Some were placed on a waitlist for months only to be rejected, and some even claimed to have never heard anything at all. Talk about psyching yourself out.

For the past several days, I've kept my phone and/or laptop fully charged and within arm's reach at all times, constantly checking my email. Despite being completely unproductive during that period of time, I did manage to achieve a few things:

- The Disney College Program dashboard rocketed into my top visited sites in Google Chrome. 

- I changed the settings on my iPhone to consistently check for email on a half-hour basis (In hindsight, probably not great on my data plan...). 

- And I pressed the F5 key on my keyboard so many times that it is no longer functional.

So, the moment you've all been waiting for... 

...okay, the moment that I've been waiting for and am going to rave about...

ACCEPTED BABY!

Just one week, exactly seven days (not months, hallelujah) after my second interview. Yes, yes, it was indeed a good day in the life of David. And in the end, we all lived happily ever after. 

I am so incredibly thrilled and humbled and honored by the whole situation. And slightly ticked that all those previous applicants forced me into a state of panic. Although, to the guy whose video introduction involved headbanging to the Mickey Mouse Club theme song...keep doing what you're doing, man. That's a level of magic that not many can achieve.

I tell this emotional rollercoaster triumph of a story to say, God is good. So very good. 

I could never stress enough how incredibly undeserving I am of the blessings in my life, but this...all this you read above, that's all Him. I could not have done anything, would not be where I am today without His grace and, more importantly, His love.

I plan to write a lot more in these months to come. I'll try to blog my journey from college student to Cast Member and hopefully provide a less scary take on the program. As Mick would say, see ya real soon!

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious, and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

- Walt Disney

              

Afterglow.

The days seem to be getting shorter. I can practically feel the dark of the night bleeding in slowly, absorbing the sunlight until each ray has dissipated into an endless sea of navy. A cold and repetitive finale to each 24-hour period. Not only that, but the time itself seems to be moving faster. Noticeably faster.

My dad always used to warn me it would, and now, I know exactly what he meant.

Decisions are swarming in my head like angry bees, some immediate, some impending. I'm stressed beyond any measure I've ever been stressed before. Words cannot actually convey the weight on my shoulders right now, but surprisingly, I've retained that optimistic attitude I've been working on, and I'm handling it well.

To give credit where credit is due and to transition from my cold introduction into my sunny outlook, God has been carrying the majority of the burden, masking all the stuff in my life that should terrify me and force me into the fetal position with constant reminders of His love.

I am so incredibly blessed, so very thankful to be alive.

Read this. It'll do your heart some good:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."


Psalms 9:9-10

Hope.

Ultimately, with every new life, there is a promise of death. This is fact.

But when a life is cut short, when that inevitable end comes sooner than expected, that's when we lose our grasp. There's no official guide that explains God's reasoning or His timing. Regardless of age or health, regardless of what state of life we're in, we can never truly be certain of how much time we have left.

As a Christian, I believe God can and will use the worst of situations to do wonderful, even beautiful things. However, until I meet my Maker face to face, I will never comprehend the purpose of a life cut short. In those situations, the best we can do is pray. We can pray that God gives the family peace, comforts them in their mourning, but beyond that, we're powerless. Some argue that it's not right to question God, but sometimes, it's inevitable. Sometimes, that one word is all that we think about, consuming us and forcing it's way through our lips, "Why?"

Sometimes, we spend long nights on our knees repeating that simple, unavoidable question.

But in the end, it's not always our place to know God's plan. That's what faith is for. Only through faith can we rest assured that He is in control, He does have a reason, and it is for the best, even if it doesn't always seem that way.

Faith, while fragile, is the structure that we must frame our lives with. Despite every obstacle, every tragedy we face, faith keeps us in check. Knowing there's a God who does, in fact, love us reassures us in the hardest of times. Though the tears may come and disfigure the path, blur our vision, God is there to pick us up, dust us off, and show us that the peace He brings surpasses anything this life can throw at us. Faith stirs within us something not everyone can claim.

Hope.

Hope which sprouts joy in the midst of our sorrow and pain. Joy that while a life was ended here on this earth, life has begun anew with the Creator, a perfect life devoid of physical pain and heartache, a life that can never be lost.

I love you Popaw, and I'm praying for you and your family. Hold tight to the memories you have of your precious sister, and take heart in the wonderful truth that, one day, you will see her again.
     

Ordinary.

Lately, writing has become very difficult for me, almost foreign. It's not that I lack the emotional drive or creative flow necessary, but rather, I just don't feel my words are worth recording.

The profound rhetoric I strive to produce is consistently bland. It doesn't hold any ground-breaking, epiphanic revelations that people wouldn't eventually discover and come to terms with on their own. My writing is no closer to Shakespeare than the next guy's.

There are so many people in the world with wisdom and talents that far exceed my own. What they have to offer this world is something to be desired and cherished and used for good, even amazing things. They make our lives better, sharing with us their awe-inspiring and God-given abilities. This handful of people compels our culture to keep growing and searching for newer and greater people to cultivate each successive generation.

In your mind right now, you probably have your own personal list of "inspirationals" that you look to: an actor or actress who can literally become anyone, an artist who could paint your soul if you asked them to, some singer whose voice is too beautiful for words, or that author who could pretty much capture anything in words. They seem so perfect and untouchable up on the pedestal we place them on. Legends, plain and simple. 

Where, then, does that leave the rest of us, the normal people like me with a decent grasp of the English language, everyday drama, a job in the fast-food industry, a dull baritone vocal range, and the ability to construct well-proportioned stick figures?

Ordinary. That's where it leaves us.

But as a population of perfect people, what would impress us? How would we find entertainment in anything? How would anyone rise up to any level of achievement if everyone else was on their level? Or, perhaps the best question to ask: why would anyone need God? If we didn't have problems, if we didn't have restrictions on what we could do, we wouldn't need God.

These crosses we bear, these everyday struggles and limitations aren't just burdens for the simple cause of discouraging us. They're an assurance of our faith, a reminder that we may not have it all like we want, but we will one day in eternity. 

These things are in our lives to remind us that although we are ordinary, we have an extraordinary God that we can rely on, a God we can rely on forever.

Blessed.

Sometimes I forget the impact mere words can have on people.

Whenever I post to this thing, I tend to envision close friends and family reading (and hopefully enjoying) whatever I've written, my blog contained right here in Tennessee. Never in my life could I have imagined my words leaving an impression halfway around the earth.

God managed to convey weight and meaning through these small, simple letters thousands of miles from where they were conceived to bless someone. And in turn, He blessed me.

John 1:16

"From the fullness of his grace, we have all received one blessing after another."

Communion.

Most people have heard of the Lord's Supper, the reenactment of that monumental, Biblical event.

Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, I've always been familiar with the concept of communion, but all my life, it's been another event, just something we did a couple Sundays a year. The meaning of the Lord's Supper had been lost on me until today. Whether it was out of immaturity or a lack of explanation that I never understood, I'm not certain. All I know is that, now, I get it.

I always wondered why that little cracker they give you was so brittle and hard, but today, when I felt it crumble between my teeth, I understood. The purpose of that insignificant piece of bread hit me like a train, and it almost brought tears to my eyes.

"And when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, 'Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.'" (1 Corinthians 11:24)

His body was broken for worthless, messed up me. The thought blows me away.

Then, of course, they follow the bread with the cup of grape juice. Drinking the lukewarm liquid, I realized how infinitely meaningful it was. The significance of the food in which I was partaking was beyond my human comprehension.

"After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, 'This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do you, as oft as you drink it, in remembrance of me.'" (1 Corinthians 11:25)

Such a powerful, humbling image painted with such ordinary things. Leave it to God to leave us with the most beautiful metaphor this world will ever know.

Silence.

Having a passion for something means that it propels and renews itself. You don't have to force it. I don't have to force myself to write. I don't need some epiphany or juvenile drama to drive that. I don't need an ulterior motive. They aren't my style anyway.

No, I write for me and me alone. The grittiness and the weight of every word I convey serve a solitary purpose: to get them off my chest. It's cathartic, and it's a blessing. My voice is something God-given, something He instilled in me. It's something I don't have to question, a constant in my crazy life, much like my relationship with Him.

Words can harm us, and words can heal us. They can start something, and they can finish it. They're so beautiful and, at the same time, so dangerous, especially for those who don't know how to use them properly, or worse, for those who use them solely to manipulate, to hurt.

This week in church, we learned about the Tower of Babel, the place where God first distributed the various languages of the world:

And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other languages, as the Spirit gave them utterance. (Acts 2:3)


Each of the men present at this event were endowed with the gift of language. Regardless of what nation their native tongue was to represent, that gift was blessed by the Holy Spirit of God.

How selfish is it then to abuse this gift over bitterness? How wasteful is it to use God's blessing as a weapon?

I personally had to consider this and apply it to my own life. There's a strength that comes with restraint, with respect for God and His blessings. I've come to the realization that if silence is the only way to preserve this holy gift, so be it.

One of those days.

Today, waking up was so totally worth it.

The Kia Forte Koup I was fawning over? It's in my garage now. Figuratively...

...technically, it's in my driveway where I park, but still. It's within 25 feet of my house and for that I am most certainly happy. I drove it around today, and called people via Bluetooth for absolutely no reason at all. My best friend and I took a mostly unneccessary trip to Walmart to prolong actually getting out of the car. Actually, each time I entered or exited the vehicle, I sat for about five minutes in silence with the engine off. Just dwelling on the fact that it's mine. MY car.

Honestly, I prayed at the beginning of this week that God would somehow bless me and remind me why I bother getting out of bed everyday, and remind me why I should try my hardest, and remind me that life isn't all guns and sadness. I asked Him to specifically show me why I should give a crap. I did. Seriously.

And He reminded me. All of a sudden I realized how much I appreciate my friends, my family, how much I appreciate my new car, and even to an EXTREMELY limited extent how I appreciate my school.

Once again, I am reminded that I am so so unbelievably blessed. Dang, He's good...

Missing Pieces.

Through the ages, man has attempted to shape his society based on what is considered “right” or “good.”

Selecting what is right has always been done through the invisible forces within man known only as emotion and ethics. This way of life has led to systems of law based on what feels right or wrong, and these laws have become an essential part of today’s society.

However, what if the rectitude society is striving for is removed and emotion no longer dictated man? This question may seem, for lack of better wording, out of the ordinary, but if you honestly take a long, analytic look at our society, you'll understand where I'm coming from.

I feel, if these circumstances continue to worsen, that mankind as a whole would rapidly decay into a truly primal, unsophisticated race. (To clarify, by no means do I find the human race "sophisticated." In all actuality, there's maybe 10% that can actually distinguish right from wrong.)

But for the sake of my point, just assume for a moment that emotion was no longer a factor affecting man. The essence of man is naturally the well-known trinity of Pathos (Emotion), Ethos (Ethic), and Logos (Logic). Three God-given entities that define who we are and firmly establish our lives.

Tampering with any of these can cause an unfortunate outcome. Let me explain...

Following our current path, emotion will ultimately dissipate into indifference. With the removal of emotion, ethics are also sacrificed as there is no inner feeling to draw the lines between good and evil. Therefore, Logos is left to stand unaccompanied. Obviously, mere logic alone cannot effeciently drive a life because without the other two forces, logic is not logical. It's one big chain reaction.

(I know, I know. I'm verging on the mindset of a radical existentialist, but trust me, I'm the farthest thing from it. Stay with me, there's a point.)

Pathos, Ethos, and Logos must all work in conjunction of one another for a life to properly operate. Only then will the hierarchy of mankind be able to stand stable.

I believe God put these three innate forces within us for a reason. A purpose.

That's why I become so easily frustrated with those who misuse or completely dispose of them. We may not understand the reasoning behind our emotions, why we feel the way we do, but that lack of comprehension is essential...

...because it brings us ever closer to God.