I think Rascal Flatts said it better than I ever could, so I'm going to let them wrap things up for me. See ya on the flip side.
"I've dealt with my ghosts, and I've faced all my demons.
I'm finally content with a past I regret.
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness.
For once, I'm at peace with myself.
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long.
I'm movin' on."
- David.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Cherry Tree.
Truth is strangely elusive nowadays. Relationships, business endeavors, even nations used to be founded upon truth, not sugar-coated or "stretched" facts, straight up truth. I've recently become aware that it would be foolish and naive to think this will ever be that way again.
Over the past month, I've harbored quite a bit of anger towards a former friend and coworker of mine. In the prime of our friendship, we laughed and cut up more than anyone, had each other's backs when no one else would, and covered for each other even when we probably shouldn't have. It was a relationship built on what I assumed was legitimate trust, which probably explains why it was so strong.
Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough to withstand one. single. lie.
A solitary, undeniable lie literally unraveled our entire friendship built on shared feelings and kept secrets. It was a pain that I really didn't expect and, to be honest (no pun intended), I wasn't ready for it. Looking into the eyes of a friend, someone you care about and love...absolutely knowing that that individual is fully aware of the God-honest truth, and then watching them renounce your name in a lie...that's a life changer.
That moment has done more than my former friend will ever know. Not only was my heart heavy and confused from the betrayal, but that single lie has spilled over into other relationships. It's placed a drop of doubt in a bucket that used to be filled with so much trust and caring for friends and family. It's caused me to second-guess myself and my ability to judge character and people in general. It's poisoned me.
I've become aware to the pain of innocence being stripped from my character. I've become aware of the true depth of the darkness and bitterness and resentment and deception that can reside in a person, even a person you considered a friend.
I should grow up, right? Get thicker skin? Shrug it off? I don't think so. I think this is what we all go through whether we admit it or not. I think we bury and deny the pain we feel because of how dangerous it would be to come to grips with it.
Because deep down, we know, all too well, of the incredible power of a lie.
Then again, maybe I've watched Pinocchio too many times and keep hoping my coworker will walk through the door with an enormous nose housing a family of birds in their nest. C'est la vie.
Over the past month, I've harbored quite a bit of anger towards a former friend and coworker of mine. In the prime of our friendship, we laughed and cut up more than anyone, had each other's backs when no one else would, and covered for each other even when we probably shouldn't have. It was a relationship built on what I assumed was legitimate trust, which probably explains why it was so strong.
Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough to withstand one. single. lie.
A solitary, undeniable lie literally unraveled our entire friendship built on shared feelings and kept secrets. It was a pain that I really didn't expect and, to be honest (no pun intended), I wasn't ready for it. Looking into the eyes of a friend, someone you care about and love...absolutely knowing that that individual is fully aware of the God-honest truth, and then watching them renounce your name in a lie...that's a life changer.
That moment has done more than my former friend will ever know. Not only was my heart heavy and confused from the betrayal, but that single lie has spilled over into other relationships. It's placed a drop of doubt in a bucket that used to be filled with so much trust and caring for friends and family. It's caused me to second-guess myself and my ability to judge character and people in general. It's poisoned me.
I've become aware to the pain of innocence being stripped from my character. I've become aware of the true depth of the darkness and bitterness and resentment and deception that can reside in a person, even a person you considered a friend.
I should grow up, right? Get thicker skin? Shrug it off? I don't think so. I think this is what we all go through whether we admit it or not. I think we bury and deny the pain we feel because of how dangerous it would be to come to grips with it.
Because deep down, we know, all too well, of the incredible power of a lie.
Then again, maybe I've watched Pinocchio too many times and keep hoping my coworker will walk through the door with an enormous nose housing a family of birds in their nest. C'est la vie.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The last decision you'll ever make alone.
Back in 2011, I met a beautiful girl named Molly. What started as a conversational, coworker relationship quickly grew into a strong friendship. I found myself noticing her differently than any person I'd ever come into contact with. I noticed little details like the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, how proper and soft her voice was when she spoke, and the way her deep brown eyes lit up when she smiled.
Being the skeptic I am, I brushed these thoughts aside. Platonic attraction was a natural part of life. I had no intention of falling in love any time soon, let alone getting married. God had different plans though (as He usually does), and slowly but surely, that brown-eyed girl melted my heart. Two years later, on a windy Saturday evening along the northern shoreline of Ohio, I asked her to be my wife.
But when you finally do? It becomes the simplest, most fulfilling part of your life.
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